Trousseau full of books

“Bloomsbury will soon be publishing the entire Harry Potter set,” I informed my sister. “I am thinking of getting it for my collection.” My sister rolled her eyes. “The last I heard we already own three Harry Potter books. Why do you need the entire set all over again?”

“It is one of the things on my dowry list. And I also need to include the books of Jane Austen, Paulo Coelho and Mary Higgins Clark,” I replied.

Sister shook her head and continued driving. I was already thinking of more authors and more books to purchase for my ‘exclusive collection’. I must get Harun Yahya’s books of course, not to forget the entire Anne of Green Gables series by Lucy Maud Montgomery. The reverie continued till I reached university, where it was rudely interrupted.

“Books? Surely you’re not making books part of your dowry?” cried a friend.

”What’s wrong with books?” I asked.

“Nothing’s wrong. Take your books with you by all means, but at least don’t get them sent with the regular dowry. It’s just not done. Get them sent to you after a few months.”

I am still confused. For someone who cannot differentiate between a fruit set and an ice cream set, I know for sure that my books will be probably a major part of my dowry. Add to that my magazines and files full of reading material and published articles, and you have the perfect dowry. Well, for me at least.

And why not? My books have been collected over many years. I have spent quality time browsing through book stores and book fairs and spent my father’s hard-earned money purchasing them. Why should I leave them behind? (And who cares about a washing machine and bedroom fridge anyway?)

All else aside, one wonders why at this time of life books are suddenly considered inferior to (gasp!) pots and pans. I mean, come the schedule of the wedding and suddenly you have a very active shopping spree planned which includes anything but books. There are people who prefer to buy everything from hair brushes to safety pins for their dowry, but ask them which books they got and they will give you a look which will make you want to disappear behind a rock or something (when it’s them who should be doing the disappearing act).

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I am still confused. For someone who cannot differentiate between a fruit set and an ice cream set, I know for sure that my books will be probably a major part of my dowry. Add to that my magazines and files full of reading material and published articles, and you have the perfect dowry. Well, for me at least.

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Again, the why question. Why is it considered blasphemous to read a book a few days into marriage? One would think that picking up a book would spoil the four-hour manual labour done upon you by the beauty parlour. Or maybe it is that curling up with a book is a heck more difficult to do when one is decked from head to toe in embroidered clothes and heavy gold ornaments? Or maybe books simply pale in comparison to the fantasies of a honeymoon in Switzerland.

For those of you, who have seriously started to doubt my sanity, let me create a scenario to illustrate that books aren’t useless or time consuming at this crucial point and they can actually help you in the most trying periods post-marriage.

For starters, suppose it is the first week of marriage. Every single one of your in-laws (husband included) is running around for one thing or another, but no one is letting you do any work (a benefit of being a new bride). What do you do? Sit around and mope? At a time like this, a good book would come in handy to ward off boredom.

Also,what about whenever you need some help with things in the post-marriage phase? There are loads of books on cooking, budgeting, handling a job and house, and what not – all ready-made post marriage help for you.Then, there are some very interesting books on marriage itself. Ever tried Spouse: The truth about marriage by Shoba De? What about Muslim Marriage Guide by Rukaiya Waris Maqsood? These are only two of the wonderful books available on the subject and believe me, when you are starting out in a new phase of life, books can help you along. They will reassure you that you are not alone in facing post-marriage blues and, of course, dispense plenty of advice along the way to help you deal with different situations.

So at the end of the day, it is your books which remain with you when you venture into a new home. They create a sense of familiarity and it is kind of soothing to realise that you have a ready companion for you. For all of you who think books are useless after marriage, I honestly feel very sorry for you.

P.S. The aforementioned friend informed me that her husband to-be is planning an entire library for her and has already purchased two books for it. There is still hope in this world.