Mind your Etiquette

Imagine this scenario. You log onto your instant messaging software and see that your friend is online. Oh good, you think. You had something really, really important to discuss with her. But wait a minute – her status on MSN Messenger is reading as “Away.” You sigh and decide to wait for a while, hoping she will be available for chat soon. You start working on something else. A while later you check again, but her MSN status still shows her as Away. You now decide to go offline and give her a call. Just then, she messages you. It turns out she was online all this time, and apparently had not bothered to change her status on MSN Messenger.

What would be your reaction in a situation like this? You would probably be ready to pull your hair out or at least look for the nearest wall to bang your head against. But the fact of the matter is that more and more people are entirely disregarding online etiquette, whether they are using email or instant messengers. Instant messengers are more notorious in this regard, since it is highly likely that most of the people on the list of contacts are friends and with whom most of the people do not really feel compelled to follow any etiquette as such.

But, is this the right attitude? Most people would tell me to loosen up – after all, what does it matter if the status on your instant messenger shows you as Away or Be right back when you are actually at your desk? Who cares if you have a busy status on when you are not really doing anything which can even remotely be classified as busy? Well, the news flash is, just as one follows some form of etiquette with friends and family members in real life, the same can, and should be applied during online interaction as well. Following etiquettes indicate one’s considerations for others – something which never goes unnoticed.

So what are the basics that one needs to bear in mind while using any form of instant messengers? First of all, if you have some hectic and serious work to do online, then simply stay away from instant messengers in the first place. If you would like to sign in anyway, then do so in the ‘Appear offline’ or ‘Invisible’ mode. Signing in while you have work and then not replying if someone messages you (on the pretext of being busy) can be very annoying to one has messaged you. The best thing would be to finish your hectic/urgent work first and then sign into your instant messaging software.Also, make sure that you do not have your Windows Messenger running in the background. In many computers, Windows Messenger loads automatically when the computer is started and does not show any icon in the task bar to alert to. You may think you have not logged in while your list of contacts sees you as online and sometimes, Away. So ensure that if you want to work on the internet without signing into your instant messenger, simply check for and sign out of Windows Messenger first.

Yet another very annoying habits that internet users have developed is replying late to a message. Replying later than five minutes can happen for any reason – the main consideration here is to let the person on the other end know that you will reply late and give a reason. It could be that you are playing a timed game and hence replying late. Let the other person know that since to keep people waiting is against the norms of etiquette, whether online or offline.

Another important rule is to keep the correct status – and respect it. If you are not away, change your status to Online. If you have to rush off somewhere while you are chatting, quickly set your status to Be right back. If you are busy talking to one person, and do not want to be disturbed, then set your status to Busy. Yes, all this should be second nature to most of us, but it is unfortunate that very few actually choose to follow it.

Respect for other people’s IM status basically means that if a friend has a set a busy status, then you do not message that person unnecessarily. The problem with many people is that they perceive the busy status to be for ‘others’ and not themselves. Or sometimes, people think that their close friend(s) can never be busy for them. Regardless of sentimentality, sometimes people can be and are busy, so if you see status their online status as Busy, respect that.

At the end of the day, remember that these are not hard and fast rules as such – the ones given in the preceding paragraphs are merely something I have noticed from my online interaction. Perhaps, once you start giving this topic some serious thought, you will discover some more breaches of etiquettes and this would give you your own list of rules to abide by – thus avoiding making the same error. Online etiquette is not about being uptight and following rules – it is about having the right attitude which reflects that you are concerned about others and not just yourself.